No re-gifting, please

Time for the obligatory list of presents for some of the men who have everything, MLB’s finest.

  • Jason Heyward: Earplugs, for his return visits to Busch Stadium.
  • Neil Walker: Directions to the visiting clubhouse in PNC Park.
  • David Price: A copy of “The Idiot’s Guide to Boston,” by Carl Crawford.
  • Lee Smith, Edgar Martinez: A phone call from BBWAA  secretary Jack O’Connell.
  • Andrew McCutchen: Strong, healthy left knee.
  • Yasiel Puig: 2013, again.
  • Shelby Miller: Runs; guy went 1-16 with a 3.63 ERA after May 27.
  • Brandon Phillips: A cushion (to sit comfortably on Reds’ bench).
  • Jonathan Papelbon: 23 other guys who put out like Bryce Harper.
  • Ruben Amaro: A nickname for last season’s Phillies GM, this season’s Boston first base coach; got it — The Benjamin Button of MLB.
  • Jose Bautista: A boxed set of the 1964-67 TV series, “Flipper.”
  • Don Mattingly: Healthy Giancarlo Stanton, unleashed.
  • Clint Hurdle: Deck of cards, none of them wild.

One comment

  1. Cozmo in Orlando

    Jeff Branson- An invitation from WalMart for a job to become a greeter.
    Nick Leyva- A Santa Claus outfit and a bag of helpful advice he can actually give to players.
    Pedro Alvarez- A barrel of Ritalin, a good sports psychologist, and ear muffs and mittens for Milwaukee.
    Jung Ho Kang- A healthy left knee.
    Neil Walker- A good stockbroker.
    Ray Searage- A King’s crown.
    Greg Brown- An Emmy.
    Michael Morse, John Jaso- A hitting coach.

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